“Choose a spouse for your children…” (Ibn Majah)
Here, he gave us a tool (this is not the only tool, but it’s an important one nonetheless) for us to evaluate who is the best person to marry. Not only that, this tool can also be used to evaluate ourselves.
You have to analyze yourself in terms of your potential as a spouse and as a parent, before entering into the marriage. In order to do this, you have to come up with some kind of a system to evaluate yourself in terms of your progress as a Muslim.
Once you have evaluated your relationship with Allah and His creations, then you are able to figure out your principles and priorities in life.
Your principles and priorities will help you in choosing the right spouse.
You will seek based mostly on what your heart desires. If your heart desires Allah, then you will seek a spouse that can help you get closer to Him. If your heart desires other than Allah, then you will seek a spouse that can help you get closer to that.
Not only that, you have to realize that you are not just choosing a spouse but you are also choosing a parent for your child. So you shouldn’t think in short term only for yourself, but also in long term for your family and future generations.
You have to think long term, so long term that you think beyond the life of this world.
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